Three's company, right?
by JJenny89
Summary: Adam had been raising her sisters ever since their mom died and they were left with their fuitcake 'magic-professor' dad. So, at 20, she was sure it was time for her to have her own life. And then she literally ran into the Winchester boys... AU
1. The Ghost in the Woods

_Disclaimers_: This story features the Original Character Adam, and she's the only thing I own, I mean lets be realistic, why does anyone write Fanfiction?! This story will not be chronological, and it ignores all seasons, so almost no spoilers. The rating changes with every chapter and if I ever feel up to writing smut I'll give warning before hand. As a woman I write better from a woman's point of view, but I'll certainly try to add some Sam/Dead POV chappies.

_Info Adam_: Adam Cole is a girl that meets up with the Winchester boys at some point in time (Adam 20, Sam 23 and Dean 27) and somehow ends up going along for the ride (Story will be up some time). She'd a human psychic, allowing her to read emotions, memories and random facts about a given person. Sometimes she gets strong feelings or urges considering the future, but not very often. She's also a telekinetic, though she needs strong emotional support for it (anger, fear, pain) and both her powers use up a lot of energy. Because, by just being (her powers), she uses up a lot of calories, so she has to eat a lot and her weight fluctuates, from an almost anorexic look to rather chubby. She had long messy hair of an undefined colour, because she keeps adding high/lowlites in tons of different colours. Her eyes are near black and she's about 5'4. The name Adam is an Acronym, meaning that technically it's A. D. A. M. Cole. She has two younger sisters, an older half-brother and knew about the Supernatural before she met the Winchester boys.

_Background this Story_: Adam has been with the Winchesters for about a year now and all three are comfortable with the situation. They're somewhere in the north of Montana, in the thick of the woods, hunting a vengeful spirit.

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You know, most of the time I like my life. Sure, it's not perfect, I miss the platinum limit credit card and the perfect boyfriend, but really, my life is pretty good, most of the time.

And then there are the times that I feel my life couldn't suck worse. I mean really, I have no education and no money, my nights I spend in cheap motels and the days on the backseat of a car. I fight and I get hurt. And I really hate Dean Winchester and I hope he gets run over by his own car! Okay, now that we got that out of the way, maybe I should yell for help?

I know, I know, it's not the most feministic way to handle things, but hey, they don't need to know right? Right now I'm lost, cold, hungry and most likely going to be killed. Awesome! I shiver, hoping it's just me and not the ghost.

The ghost, why is the name of the Lord is a ghost haunting the woods anyway?!, that managed to get us seperated, though saying it's Deans fault makes me feel better. But as it is, there is a ghost haunting these woods. You see there used to be this backward town somewhere here in these woods and it was so backwards that the locals used to meet out justice in their own charming way. Meaning that the, presumed, offenders were taken somewhere deep in the woods and oddly enough, only very few made it back to the town.

The town, now a surviving on tourism, has the story displayed on just about every flat surface. Focussing on the fact that the town was so remote (beautiful nature, excellent wildlife, a perfect opportunity to take out those hiking boots!) and that the ones that made it back, not in the best of conditions, were accepted back into community life without question.

But now that a lot of people started to hike all over this ghost's resting place, he's decided to do what was done to him all those years ago. There have been reports of rattling camping gear, exploding gas-cookers, rabid animals that attack people and someone even managed to get smothered by his own sleeping bag.

So then we go in, find what's left of Casper and salt and burn. Yep, that's what we do… Problem is, there is a lot of woods here, and no one really knows what used to happen among these trees, or more importantly; where. Sam found a skeleton that looked right old and we did our thing. We were just about to leave town when another rapport came in (family hiking, tents started flying, gear moving on its own, Dad got attacked by his pocket knife and only nearly survived).

So we did some more searching of these woods and found nothing. Have you ever been traipsing through the woods with two guys? Let me give you a few tips: one: take earplugs or music, two: take a backpack, with the kilo of salt, lighter fluid, gun and rounds, silver knives, food and water, bags tend to get heavy and my shoulder hurts! And last but not least, just DON'T do it!

Not that we found anything. I mean these are woods, dense woods, odds are that when you die here, something'll eat you. Anyway, we also noticed what "rabid animals attacking people" meant. So here we were, in the middle of nowhere and off course Dean and I got into some argument, we always do, and before I know it I'm knocked over, really hard. You know, Bambi is cute in the movie, but after he's had a run in with a ghost, not so much anymore. There were several deer and they seemed to do their very best to either stake us with their antlers or trample us over.

I heard yelling from Sam and Dean, some gunshots and I did my very best to not get murdered by a deer (I mean, how pathetic would that be?). But rabid was a very good description, they didn't feel pain or fear and a deer can be a good 350 pounds heavy. I used all I had, knife, gun, psychic power, and the good news is that I won. Bad news is, I feel guilty for murdering some innocent animal (did I just kill Bambi's mother?! Yikes!) and I am now not only bruised all frigging over, but also lost.

I yelled for Sam and Dean as bloody loud as I could and I even shot my gun twice hoping they either return the favour or follow the direction of the sound, but I got no reaction. It's now dusk (off course having the light of day to help me navigate would be too easy), I'm sorta wet (rolling all over moist forest floor will do that to you), it's getting colder (were up pretty far north, I'm wearing a sweater, jacket and big, plaid, fleece vest and I'm still cold!), as I said, I'm bruised all over and limping and I'm nearly out of both food and water.

My, as a psychic, burn about thrice the amount of calories a normal woman would (apparently reading minds and moving things is hard work..). Which isn't usually such a problem, I just eat a lot. But now, after having used my powers some and not having eaten anything but jerky and protein bars since breakfast, I'm feeling weak. It's like crash-dieting every time I leave the comforts of a town.

My body loses weight like mad and I can tell you that the moment I get back to the motel I've at least lost 5 pounds already. Not only is Pain! a prominent thought in my mind, but Tired! is another one. You know that feeling after say a particular hard workout, that all you want to do is plant your ass on a flat surface and catch your breath for the next 30 minutes? That's just how I feel, and what I'll do.

Off course you might be thinking that sitting alone, in the dark, haunted woods is not a great idea, especially since my boys are out there somewhere, mostly likely hurt and possibly under attack (at least I Know that they are not dead or dying), but it's for the best. Trust me, it's better to give my body some rest and time to burn fat while I'm awake and able to pull a trigger, than to keep walking and faint form exhaustion and malnourishment (and that has happened.. more than once. It's pretty embarrassing (and dangerous): you save they day by some huge telekinetic feat, but faint dead away immediately after..).

After washing my last jerky and bar away with my last water (again I NEED that) and I try to meditate and focus on locating my boys. But I'm scared, too scared to lose myself in my powers. I'm not sure what scares me more, running into a bear (I'm not the greatest shot (though I am carrying actual metal bullets), but it doesn't really matter where you hit a ghost with rock salt, but if you don't kill a bear first shot…) or the ghost. Or worse, a bear possessed by the ghost! Yeeh!

After a while I start shivering, badly. Damn, I need to keep moving for warmth, but I'm tired and hungry. I give my powers one last sweep over the area, but find no humans. I shakily get up and get moving. I have no idea where I'm going, but I close my eyes, spin slowly and stop when I feel it's right (hey, I'm psychic, I trust my gut… sorta). After moving for about ten minutes, I get a call.

"… ADAM?!" Sam clearly yells, but the connection is very bad and it sounds soft (off course we're out of range!).

"Yeah, it's me! Where are you?" I yell back.

"…Fi - you….. OK?........ Dea…. Ghos……. Fuck!" Is all I get. Not three seconds after Sam's 'fuck', I scream as a searing pain laces through my right hip. I drop my cell and frantically peel away my jeans and tights. I whimper at the sight; my hip is a shredded, bleeding mess and I see my bone peeking through. Within seconds the wound is gone and I Know it's Deans. I register his pain as mine and because for a moment I feel it, my mind also sees it. Goddamn this is bad!

I search the forest floor for my cell and when I find it I try to call Sam and Dean, but I get nothing. Resisting the urge to throw my cell away, I get up and focus on the not-my-pain in my hip. The sensation of pain that's mine and that's others is different, but hard to describe and still painful. I walk in the direction that makes my hip throb worse.

After another fifteen minutes tears are stinging in my eyes, pain, tired, worried and still lost. The pain in my hip is severe, but I'm so glad it's still there (can't feel pain if you're dead). I'm just about to try the screaming names thing again, when to my horror, the temperature drops noticeably. A branch suddenly swings out at me and I duck out of the way. Apparently not far enough, cause it catches me in my midsections, just above my aching hip and tears my outer jacket.

Any sane person would turn around now, but I Know I am close to both the remains of the ghost and to Sam and Dean, so I keep going. When stones and pinecones are starting to fly my way, I pick up a thick branch and start to practice my batting, I've never been really good at sports. It's getting colder and more and heavier things are coming my way. The ghost itself appears before me, but when I shoot at it, it disappears and doesn't try again. But what's even better, I hear Sam yell.

"Adam!" I sigh with relief.

"Yeah, I'm here!" I yell, and once again I get knocked over and my left calf is burning with severe pain. I grasp my dagger, both my club and gun are knocked away from me and turn to face my attacker. A wild boar, with the clear signs of possession, is readying itself for burying it's tusks in me once again. Before I can react a shot rings out and the boars fall down dead.

"You okay?" Sam asks me, worry clear in his voice, on his face and it also washes over me through my powers.

"Definitely not." I answer, as he hoists me up. My right ankle is sprained, my right hip is channelling Dean's and now my left calf has a two inch hole in it, that and the numerous cuts and bruises all over from everything that has been coming my way all day now.

"But it's not gonna kill me." I say. We start going in the direction where Sam came from and I start saying something else. We're interrupted by Dean bellowing.

"SAM!" The link between us is renewed, two seconds ago he was hazy with pain, now it's crystal clear with fear. We up our pace, guns at the ready, mine still loaded with rock salt, and come into a small clearing. Dean's there, and so is a possessed wolf. Apparently his gun is empty, since he's holding a knife and waiting for the wolf to attack. And so it does. The huge creature goes barrelling towards Dean and I shoot it, somewhere, with rock salt. It howls, and comes our way, God I hope Sam has bullets. A shot rings out and the wolf drops.

I hobble my way over to Dean, Sam battling the new assault of flying rocks.

"You look awful!" Dean greets me. I glance at his hip, it's worse on him that the view I had on me.

"Yeah, you too!" I pant at him. A rock hits my shoulder. I yelp and Dean busies himself batting off the offending materials, he's considerable better at it than I was.

"Look up!" Sam bellows and I do. My heart sinks to my stomach, oh crap! About 25 feet up, obscured by leaves and branches, is a skeleton. The huge branch it's resting on has several bullet holes in it, but it shows no signs of coming down, guess that's were Deans bullets went.. How the hell are we gonna salt and burn it?! I momentarily think of setting the tree on fire, but wave it off. That's gonna take ages!

Scraping my last reserves together I intent to bring the skeleton down. I concentrate, feel my power rise, I put all my pain, anger and frustration in it and I'm just about to release when the ghost wraps its hands round my throat. I immediately lose my drift, but thankfully one of the guys shoots it before I lose more than just my drift!

I try again, building my power and now a wave of fear washes over me, psychic warning. "Bear!" I yell, not taking my eyes of the skeleton and hoping someone shoots it before it kills me. It doesn't come near me, so I guess someone did and I release my power. The branch breaks off with a creaking loud enough to tear your eardrums. Before either the branch or the skeleton of whoever the hell died up there hits the ground, my world goes black.

Epilogue

When I make my way through a haze of fuzzy confusion and worry and wake up to the clear reality of pain, I realize we must've won. I don't really have the strength to lift my head just yet, so I peek under the covers. I'm wearing a shirt that's not mine, and my Thing tells me that it's Sam's. I also realize that I'm still wearing the underwear that I had on that day, so three guesses who bandaged me up! I have no doubt Dean would've taken a good long look.

Speaking about bandaging, my ankle, calf and elbow are neatly done, by the way, what happened to my elbow? The rest of my skin is covered in multicoloured bruises and cuts. Slowly I sit up (OW!) and while a million questions are running through my head (Were we far from the car? Did Sam carry me? How's Dean? What happened? Are we in trouble?) I carefully reach out for my boys. They're both near and okay. Not two seconds later I hear stumbling, and someone opens my door. First Sam and then Dean come through.

"I told you not to read our minds!" Dean admonishes me (somehow they've gotten used to my psychic brushes and recognise them, probably because I spend half my life checking up on them), but there's no malice behind his words. He's limping, he's trying to limp with his usual swagger, but the pain makes it look sorta weird.

"We were worried." Sam tells me and he sounds it. "A little longer and we would've called the hospital." He tells me. I look from one to the other and I can Feel their worry.

"H- how long.. w-was I ou-out?" I ask, shocked at how my voice croaks.

"Almost three days." Dean answers.

" An you didn't wake or stir once." Sam adds, I Feel another wave of worry wash over me. I look at my hand and see the bones of my wrist and fingers stick out, a lot.

"Yikes." I mention, I really don't wanna know what I look like, probably like I died of starvation a couple days ago. I Feel relief coming from both and before either can speak, I ask.

"Hungry?" Hey! My voice hasn't been used in three days okay! They both smile and chuckle, moments like this and you can really tell they're brothers.

"I'll get it." Sam tells Dean, who doesn't protest (his hip must really hurt him then) and sits down in the chair next to the bed.

"Hip?" I ask him.

"Cougar." He replies, I cock my head, question. He pauses, by now knowing that he can't lie to me, in the sense that he can say the words, but I'll Know if they're true or not.

"It's ok." He says, and my mental lie detector says yes. Then again, 'OK' takes a whole new meaning if you do what we do. Dean and I have conversations like this a lot, if at all we talk. With Sam I can talk for hours, with Dean not so much, but I love them both dearly. Sam liked me from the start (handy this psychic thing!) and I just grew on Dean (who loves me now too) and I guess I'm now a part of, well them, I guess. I fiddle some with my sheet.

"Seeing as we're here, guess we won then." I say. Then, unexpectedly and uncharacteristically, Dean stands and hugs me, hard (small 'ow'!). I get over this soon and I return the hug, not so hard though, I feel as if I'm made out of spaghetti. When he lets go he gives me the full-on Dean-grin.

"Yeah we got the sonofabitch all right!"


	2. Away

Rating: K+

Pairing: Dean/Adam

Background: Adam has been with the Winchester boys for about 18 months. Adam and Dean are together, still rather early in their relationship. She's gone to visit her sisters for a week.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Sam asked him.

"Coffee." Dean replied, no way in hell was he telling his brother what really happened, and he handed Sam his favourite brew.

"Thanks." Sam acknowledged him and focussed on the screen of his laptop again.

"I'm gonna shower." He told Sam and not waiting for an answer he went into the bathroom. Once inside the shower he felt like banging his head against the tile, was he pathetic or what? This morning when he had woken up alone, nothing had seemed off. Even though Addy and he shared a bed, they often _slept_ alone. The first time it had happened, she had snuck out in the middle of the night to the room with the two queens in which Sam slept. When he had woken up the next morning he'd been rather confused and insulted. He'd been rude to her, she'd been rather mean back until she had made her point in the simplest manner.

"_Look Dean, the bed is about this big." She held her arms apart, about as far as what most motels made to be a king-size. "You are about this big." She held her arms apart about ¾ of what she made the bed to be. "This big when you sleep with your arms out." She signalled a size that was almost as broad as the bed. __"And I take up about this amount of space when sleeping." She signalled a size that was over half the bed. "Every time you bump into me I wake up and every time I touch you I'm afraid I'll wake you up. I love you and all, but I need my sleep!" _After that, the first one to wake up after sex simply went to the empty bed that would be next to Sam.

So when he had woken up in a queen next to Sam nothing had seemed off. They had no hunt going on so he had woken up around 10 AM. When he had been awake for about 45 minutes and still hadn't felt the customary psychic brush that Addy gave every morning after waking up, he was slightly worried. Adam had her routines and barring psychic exhaustion and all-nighters she always woke up between 9.30 and 10 AM. So he had dressed, walked to the next room and knocked.

Only to be presented by a fat middle-aged man in boxers that leered at him rather alarmingly. Shit! Addy was gone for the week, visiting her sisters… He had made up some excuse and fled. He'd had the good sense to buy two coffees before entering their room again. Sam was gonna laugh at him for weeks if he found out.

When Dean entered the diner he spotted Sam at a booth in the back. Sam and a LOT of food. He looked at the amount and then questioningly at Sam.

"I was hungry and I ordered for you." Sam replied, too quick and without meeting his eye. He might've actually believed Sam, had he not noticed a teacup and saucer. Neither of them drank tea, ever, but Adam did. Sam also never ordered for him and always for Addy, like he said, the woman had her routines. His morning encounter still fresh in his mind, he let it go. And he had to give Sam credit for actually drinking the tea.

That afternoon they had just been driving with no particular destination in mind other than greener pastures, or better motels. Dean was pulling over to a gas station that looked like it belonged in the fifties. He was thankful that the Impala could actually use some gas, cause he had pulled over purely out of habit.

Addy had the annoying habit of wanting to stop every two to three hours, either to pee, eat, stretch or simply because she saw something pretty or interesting along the road. At first it had drove him completely crazy, until one day he had seen the sign of a farmer's fare along the road and to his horror he had pulled up _before _Adam had asked him to.

Now he surveyed his surroundings, noting the gas station in all its ancient glory, the flowery fields along the road. Had she been here she would've picked some flowers and asked the attendant for water for them while asking questions about the station. Like if fifty year old year old pump worked differently then a current one.

Dean almost cringed at his own thoughts. He was NOT missing her after only a day! He was not Sam!

Walking up to Sam at the motel he heard the end of the conversation.

"One room with two queens and one… never mind, one room with two queens." Dean ignored it and Sam didn't look at him.

"Okay then, room 412, have a good day then mr. Roberts!" The perky attendant smiled her very white teeth bare.

The next evening Dean was hustling pool. He didn't really need the money, but the hotel room had been awfully quiet. Sam had been doing something or other on his laptop and he had been very bored. When Adam was there she'd drag them to go do something, see a movie, go to a parade, go to a bar or simply talk about anything.

Chiding himself that he was perfectly able to do stuff on his own, he had gotten up, told Sam not to wait up and found himself a dive. He'd been here for a while and the game was going well. He had made himself $350,- already. Yet he missed Addy sitting at the bar, nursing a, preferably Irish, whiskey and watching him with sparkly eyes. She was okay at pool, but couldn't hustle to save her life. And he liked her eyes on him. Ah, fuck him, he actually _missed_ her! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, how had he fallen so hard without noticing? He lost interest in the game and left when it was over.

Annoyed with himself, but mostly with Adam, he walked the dingy, darkened road. Then he saw an old, banged up Jeep form the corner of his eye and, quite pathetically, his heart leaped. And he tripped over the edge of the sidewalk, falling in shard of glass that pierced his hands and left thigh, it wasn't her car.

"Fuck! Goddamn! Asshole!" He yelled to the empty streets. In a now extremely bad mood he made his way to the motel where Sam could help him pick the shards of glass from his now bleeding flesh. Before he was completely inside the motel he ran into Sam, looking worried.

"What happened to you?!" Sam asked him, still looking like a worried mother hen.

"I fell." He ground out, slowly and painfully making his way to the room.

"You fell?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I fucking well tripped over the sidewalk!" He barked at his brother. "What's it to you anyway?!"

"Adam called, asked what had happened since you were hurt." Sam told him this without meeting his eye and while shedding his jacket. Dean was actually shocked. Did she feel the pain of everyone in a 300 mile radius? Or was it just him? He really didn't want to think about it, but maybe it meant that she was just as hooked as he was.

"Oh." He replied much more subdued and he sat down so Sam could start picking out the pieces if glass from his hands.

The next evening they were sitting down at an actual restaurant, not a diner, for dinner. Again the forceful influence of Adam. She refused to live of off fast food. They had it, but no more than twice a week. Addy either cooked, or dragged them to a place that served veggies. Yesterday Sam had called Adam back, telling her that it was just an accident and she need not worry. He hadn't want to talk to her. Pansy that he was. Sam had looked at him funny, nagging at him, asking if they'd had a fight. Not that it was unusual for them to fight, but he had been even more annoyed. He'd barked something rude at his brother and Sam had let it go.

The same night Dean lay awake in his bed. It was a nice bed, clean, nice pillows, the works, so it wasn't the bed that was keeping him awake. _And it wasn't HER either!_ He told himself. They never slept together and considering their explosive relationship four days without sex wasn't all that unusual either. He was not missing her! And neither was Sam! Angry again he punched his pillow with his bandaged fists.

He must've fallen asleep sometime, because next thing he knew was a pair of lips against his and some weight on his right leg.

"Hey, I'm in room 416." She whispered to him before getting off the bed and tiptoeing outside the room. His brain was still slightly scrambled, but it didn't take him long to follow her. She was waiting for him in the room and he eagerly moulded soft breasts, soft lips and hot woman against him. She kissed him back slowly and languidly, very Addy: taking her time and pleasure, while lightly tracing her fingers over his belly. He broke the kiss reluctantly.

"I thought you'd be away for a week?" He asked her. Adam took his right hand in hers, kissed the bandage and then lightly sucked in each non-covered fingertip. He groaned, Damn, she could get him rock-hard by just looking at him.

"I was afraid what you'd get into if I was gone any longer." She repeated the action on his left hand.

"And I missed you." She didn't give him time to respond, clearly not comfortable admitting that herself, and kissed him. When she traced her nails lightly across his abs once again, taking his shirt with it, he couldn't care less.

The next morning he woke up, alone, in the 'king-size' bed in room 416. Almost immediately he felt a psychic brush in his head. He smiled, Addy was there.

Review people! It makes me happy!


	3. Acceptance pt1

Rating: K+

Pairing: Dean/OC

Background: Adam has been with the boys for about two weeks, no one is too happy about it.

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"_Whore!" Someone yells, full of anger and rage. I feel a fist collide with my face and I cower towards the kitchen cabinets. Suddenly I'm falling_. Falling? I collide awkwardly with gravel, my feet still on the car seat. _Someone_ opened the car door I was sleeping against.

"Ow!" I let it be known and I stare up into the face of Dean Winchester, I glare at him.

"Dean!" Sam sounds exasperated. Dean shrugs and turns toward what I presume is the motel of the night. I bite back a rather scathing comment, keeping the peace. Sam gives me a hand up and I brush myself off. I really don't like Dean Winchester, and boy, is that feeling mutual.

"Sorry, he's just-" Sam starts.

"An asshole?" Okay, maybe I sound a little bitter.

"Yeah." Sam sounds resigned. It's been almost three weeks now and the hostility between me and Dean is making me uncomfortable.

"Look Sam." I start. "Maybe I should just leave, ya know? I mean, clearly I'm not wanted here." Very, very clearly. If Dean's actions and comments didn't let me in on that, the waves on animosity I get from him certainly would. Sam sighs and drags a hand through his shaggy hair.

"_I_ want you here." He tells me. "I know Dean's been-"

"An asshole." I supply for him, once again.

"Yeah. But even he doesn't want you dead." I must've made an 'unconvinced-face' at that, cause Sam continues.

"Trust me, he would've never even taken you along if he really wanted you dead, or didn't believe me." Sam turns on the sweet 'I'm-so-cute-please-believe-me' look and I fall for it, again.

"Fine, but something better try and kill me soon, because this hostility thing is driving me batty!" I leave it at that, take my bag and stalk after Dean towards the motel.

*********

About two hours later I'm sitting on the bed in this stupid motel seriously thinking about telling Sam that the deal is off and that I'm leaving. No matter that it's 11 pm, no make that 11:16, and that I have neither money nor a car. The deal being that Sam had a vision, about me. Why would Sam have a vision about me when _I'm _more of a psychic? Why wouldn't _I_ have a vision about _my_ imminent death? But as it is, Sam has had a vision about me being ripped apart by something (Great! By the way, why do _I_ get ripped apart?!) and he is determined to stick around me until disaster is averted. Or has me sticking around him.

I sigh again and decide to take a walk. I put on my leather jacket, or more like trench coat, as a precaution, it's not very cold here. The coat is a precaution because it had numerous pockets filled with everything someone could possible need. I'm not really like a girl, instead of hauling around a big purse, I stuff everything in my pockets. They hold everything from lipstick, to my driver's licence, to a dagger. Hoping I won't need my dagger..

Outside I take a breath of fresh air and look around me, there's the motel and the road nothing more, fun walk this'll be! I start walking anyway, ignoring some catcalls from some truck drivers. Dean makes me feel really unwanted, as if I'm something evil that should actually be kept in a cage. I have no idea why he feels this way and it's my personal rule to never dig in someone's mind without specifically being asked to. I like Sam and I'd like to be his friend, but I really hope that something comes and tries to kill me soon, though, looking around (there's absolutely nothing here!) not necessarily right now..

I walked for twenty minutes, smoked a cigarette (bad, bad me!) and came to the conclusion that I am possible the most pathetic person on this hemisphere. I'm not a people person, I don't really like people, yet for the first time in 20 years I was alone, and it was scary. From the moment I was born I have been around people, taking care of others, and now, with Jessie with the MacKenzies and Katie all grown-up and away to college, I got no one. So when my car got smashed and the Winchesters insisted that I stick around them for my own safety, maybe I just took my chance. Maybe, I'm so pathetic that I'd rather be around someone who despises me than alone…

***********

Back at the motel, nothing has attacked or killed me (though that would be ironic), I see Sam sitting in the motel's bar, playing with his laptop, he's not happy. Feeling slightly miserable myself I go out to join him, I could use a drink.

"Hey." I mention as I sit down across Sam. He looks up at me, giving off anger, confusion, some hurt and resentment, some of it directed at me.

"Hey." He nevertheless smiles and accepts the beer I brought him. I'm curious as to what caused all that, but it would be rude to just Look.

"So, anything interesting?" I ask, nodding at the laptop. Sam runs his hand across his face and hair, he's tired.

"No." Damn, getting more curious!

"So, why not just go to bed?" At that the emotions come back full force. He pauses, gives me that look that people give me when they know what I am. The one where they know I'll Know.

"It's Dean." He pauses. "He's in the room… busy." He looks sorta embarrassed and suddenly I know that however a player Dean might be, that it's not usual, and that it's my fault.

"Oh." I nod to myself. "He doesn't like me, and he doesn't like that you do and this is his rather petty revenge?" I ask, Sam doesn't even dignify it with an answer and I Know I'm right.

"Well, you can sleep with me if you want." I tell him, I don't like sharing my sleeping space with anyone or anything, but I'll feel bad if I leave Sam here. As I expected, shock comes first, then wonder, then some erotically charged imagery and then some insult. I roll my eyes.

"It's a king-sized bed Sam, meant for two people. You're welcome to _sleep_ there." I elaborate.

"Right, course." He smiles rather nervously at me, but doesn't do the expected noble-knight thing by saying that it's not necessary, hmm.

"Okay then." And I lead the way.

************

Somewhere in the middle of my REM-cycle I wake up because of a rather painful elbow in the ribs. Before I even open my eyes I get assaulted by Pain!, Fear! and Confusion!. I turn to look at Sam and my own fear and confusion mixes with his. He's on his back, grabbing his head, a look of agony on his face. Oh my God, what's wrong with him?! Is he epileptic? Slowly I reach out my hand to him.

"Sam? What's wrong? What do I do?" I ask, as clearly as possible, but his closeness to me is making me hurt and scared. He doesn't answer, except a long groan of pain, but Dean! is very clear to me, both as the word and the image. I'm reluctant to leave Sam just like that, but urgency is also clear to me. I make my way to the room next door and bang once or twice before entering.

Dean shifts from WTF-worried! to WTF-get out! the moment he sees me. The busty blonde next to him stays at Huh?. I ignore both and grab Dean, who's putting on some jeans, by the wrist, intent on pulling him to Sam.

"Ow! What the Hell is wrong with you!" He yells at me. He shoves me away so hard I fall on my ass. Anger! and Astonishment! wash over me. Confused I look at his wrist, seeing my own handprint burned on his skin in angry red. Oops, guess I'm not all that calm myself..

"Sam!" I yell at him, exasperated and point to the wall. Some genuine fear and worry wash over me before he disappears to the room next door, not sparing me another glance. As he disappears I keep my mind on the both of them, Feeling Sam coming down from whatever got over him and Dean calming down. After making sure they are ok my own painful ass makes itself known. I scramble up and start to leave when another presence nags in the back of my mind.

I turn to the blonde, who while clutching the sheet against her chest, give me a small finger wave.

"Hi." She tells me and smiles rather chipper. I acknowledge her with what should look like a smile on my face.

"Maybe you should leave." I tell her and I follow my own advice to check on Sam.

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TBC

Okay, I know it's blackmail, but I need at least one review to continue!


	4. Acceptance pt2

Second part of Acceptance so everything's still the same!

Thanks to my first reviewer!

Two hours later we're driving, again. That was a vision? That can't be right can it? I'm suddenly very glad that doesn't happen to me. Sam seems more or less fine, although he had a bloody nose when I came back into the room. Dean's driving like maniac and Sam's not commenting. I check his emotions up close. He's angry, not very worried about Sam's vision, but extremely pissed off at me and Sam having sex. Or at least that's what he's concluded. I try to bat of his feelings of anger and resentment, but they're making me physically ill.

I'm curious as to what Sam saw, as no one felt the need to tell me. Though I'm already in way over my capacity, curiosity is stronger and I gently probe the surface of Sam's mind. He's anxious and worried, slightly angry and rather scared. Just as I want to go a little deeper, Sam confronts me.

"Don't do that." He's curt and angry. My stomach drops, he can't, right?

"W-what?" I ask, hoping I sound genuine.

"Read my mind." Curt again and my stomach is somewhere near my toes now, as is my jaw. What the Fuck?!

"What the fuck?!" Dean mirrors my thought though anger is laced thickly through the words. A wave of animosity stronger than ever courses through me, so bad that I gasp in physical pain. Sam looks back at me with guilt and worry, Dean's just very angry. I've never been this close to people who aren't my sisters for this long and their constant emotions are making me hurt.

"Just back the fuck off!" I yell and I make a defensive gesture with my hands. Suddenly the car swerves and goes off the road. Immediately shock and fear wash over me and the fact that I'm busier batting off sensory overload than actually fearing for my life is telling enough. The car stops somewhere in a newly sowed field and we're all physically fine. The emotion coming from the Winchesters have become one big swerving mess in my head.

"Ok, that's it!" Dean's voice registers, but I feel too miserable to actually care. Spots appear before my eyes, I get out of the car because I have to puke and my knees don't hold. I crumble rather pathetically. Dean and Sam are arguing, emotions running even higher. Tears sting in my eyes.

"Stop it! Shut up!" I yell more to the voices in my head than to the guys. I grab my head, the world is spinning, my skin crawls and my head pounds.

"STOP!" I yell, vaguely I know I did something, telekinetically, but I can't care. Still in a crumble on the ground I break down sobbing.

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Two days later I'm in yet another motel room, doing nothing. I don't know what to do. When the tears had subsided I was left with a pounding headache and the world around me was blissfully empty of any human emotions. Relief at that was immediately replaced with an astounded dread. They had left me! They had actually left me at the side of the road! Then I realized that I had done something to them, but what?

I wasn't that far from the nearest town, another sign that I was really out of it. I should have sensed all those people. I slowly and very painfully made my way to the town, found a place that hired out beds and locked myself in there with a bottle of whiskey and bottle of painkillers. I drank half the whiskey, took six painkillers and spent the next eight hours in a vague half-sleep plagued with weird dreams and other people's emotions. Then I downed the other half of the bottle and another six painkillers and finally, finally I was alone in my head.

Now I'm okay, back to the Addy that can easily block out the rest of the worlds problems and focus on her own. And I have one for you! I was left at the side of the road by two people, one of which claimed to care for me, while I was in great pain. I'm pissed. I really am. I try to tell myself that a: they didn't know what I was going through and b: I did something to them, but I'm not feeling very forgiving.

On the other hand, Something tells me to go find them. I know this feeling. It's kinda like _take the scenic route this time_ and you find out that you missed the big accident on the practical route. Normally I wouldn't hesitate and go do the stupid rescue thing. But like I said, I'm angry and they have their guns and machetes and a survival training that would make the marines jealous. What they hell do they need me for?

Not to mention I have no idea where they are. I don't have a cell phone, seeing as it went up to mechanical heaven right along with my car, and I don't have their number. I have no means of transportation and I don't really know my financial situation either. Really, I should just let it be.

Something nags at me again. Oh fuck me! Fine, fine! I'll look for the Winchesters!

The next day I'm in my new car, surprisingly I had a reasonable amount of money stashed away. Being a psychic make a pretty good gambler. I'm always careful though, being a psychic doesn't make you a good fighter, so I don't really go after the big money. But it was enough to buy a car. It's ugly as hell, but it fits my criteria. One; it drives, two: it's a gearshift, three: it's big and four: it looks sturdy.

I spent the last day driving on instinct, I'm psychic, but I'm still sorta scared that my gut is telling me to go visit Disneyland. All throughout the day there's been this consistent hum in the back of my brain, like a soft singsong voice that it telling me to hurry up-hup, that I'll be way too late, that I should've found them by now.

It's now somewhere around 10 pm and I've ended up somewhere in a town that looks like it froze in the 70's. Welcome to hippie central! A bearded man in sunglasses told me that my options for the night were either a tie-dyed tent or Mama Daisy's. I've slept in tent before, but with the whole peace, free-love mentality and quite some people high as a kite, I've opted for something that locks. I politely thanked mama Daisy when she invited me to celebrate the sun the next morning at 4:54 am, telling her that I was more of a moon person and after a huge dinner, went to bed.

After I woke up, ordered my breakfast, but got something completely different, I went to search around this place. You know, when I said high as a kite, I meant it. Everyone I've encountered here has been terribly unhelpful, but has wished me peace, love and happiness or was simply so out of it that they either made me high and forget what I came for or tried to hug me. Now that's sweet and all but physical contact for a psychic is not always that easy, and with my last bout of sensory overload fresh in mind, I tended to duck and flee.

Mid afternoon I'm about ready to tear my hair out, were it not braided. By flashes I've been high on someone else's high, sent around in circles, squares and triangles, without finding anything, consistently gotten something I didn't order (even vending machines are high here!), I've paid for pump three while I'm sure I used pump five, I've noticed my key says 205 while my room says 113 and Mama Daisy once again invited me to celebrate the god of the sun at dawn wearing a white dress and no shoes. I declined a little less politely this time and went into my room to ponder whether to stay or go.

I've decided to stay, munching on candy bars and chips I never ordered and trying to psychically find a Winchester, but I get lost in a thick sweet-smelling haze of dazed happiness and high. Part of me Knows that they're here, but these people have fried their brains so much that they probably wouldn't recognize their own children, let alone two strangers. Also, I haven't seen the Impala and they are not staying here or in a tent. Maybe they're really not here and I'm just too high to Know my stuff.

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"_Hi, I uh, ordered bacon and blueberry pancakes almost an hour ago?" "Hmm, Mona provides all, maybe tomorrow?" And the waitress gives me a plate of sausages. _

"_I'm sorry, I was at pump five." I tell the attendant, a man in his thirties with long hair and a Hawaii shirt. "Ah, we must all sacrifice to reach love, peace and happiness." He tells me dreamily. I suppress annoyance, surprising how good you get at that after 20 years of dealing with everyone else's emotions. _

"_Scuse me." I ask a group of teenagers sitting dreamily on the sidewalk. "I was told that Mulligan's Inn was here?" A blond girl giggles and kisses the boy next to her. "It's not, it's down Ballpoint lane." Another boy tells me. "It's not there either." A girl cuts in. "It once was, but now it's not." The group erupts in giggles. I clench my jaw and ball my fists. "Oh don't be upset, tomorrow all will be well." The blonde tells me. "Yeah, all will be well." The boy echoes and the group collectively sighs. _

"_I'm sorry I'm looking for my brothers, tall and taller, handsome, drive an Impala?" "No no no my pretty, only Tony can live here forever." The old man tells me, before he kisses my cheek I get a very small blip of dishonesty._

I wake up, what was that all about? I really didn't need to relive that! Still I play it over in my mind. And then I remember Daisy's words.

"_Will you come to celebrate Tonatiuh, God of the Sun with us at dawn? It will give us peace and love and happiness, you must wear a white dress and no shoes."_ A white dress and no shoes? Sacrifice for peace and love? Tomorrow all will be well? I never did _see_ anyone smoke anything…. Oh crap! They're gonna sacrifice me! They're gonna sacrifice the Winchesters!

I know it's not finished yet, but I'll probably post something else first and the last part later. I will finish it! Review please!


	5. Breakup

Background: It's been nearly three years since the boys first met Adam. Ruby has shown up in their lives, but Dean hasn't gone to hell. We're talking brunette Ruby here. Sam's demon powers have grown instead of disappeared. Adam and Dean are married for about 9 months.

Pairings: Dean/Adam, Sam/Ruby

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You know, my life was never normal and it has certainly never ever been easy. Part of me suspects that I don't really want easy anyway, but a little easier wouldn't hurt right now. I love my boys, I really love them both. But Jesus, they don't make it easy.

Currently Dean's angry at everyone which translates into asshole and the relationship between the brothers is strained if you want to make an understatement. Even though the biggest problem is the boys themselves, I'm currently looking at a big point of argument. The small mount of blankets is slowly moving up and down, indicating that the now half-demon Ruby is still sleeping. For someone who is wanted by the whole world, the woman sure sleeps deeply. The shower is running, Sam, my head tells me. And let there be only one bed in this room..

I suppose I'm here to 'warn' them that Dean is on the warpath and that it would be best if Ruby were to not be here. Dean doesn't know that I know Ruby. He doesn't know that I _like_ Ruby. And even though I have half a mind to pack my stuff and move to my sister for a while to let the boys duke it out, without me being the very strained peacekeeper, I don't want to leave Ruby in the middle of it.

I approach the bed and softly shake the mount of blankets, nothing happens, I add another hand and shake harder. Ruby groans and rolls over, probably sensing me and not feeling the need to actually open her eyes.

"Hey, I though we could have breakfast?" I insist. Ruby looks at me, sighs and rolls out of bed, she's very perceptive when she wants to be. Ruby's wearing a tank top and pyjama shorts and her upper arm is bandaged in crispy white with a pink stain on it. Briefly I wonder what exactly the relationship between Sam and Ruby is, seeing as they haven't had sex in several months.

"Mind your own business!" She barks at me while stuffing clothes in her bag. I keep forgetting that Ruby is even better at recognizing my psychic quests than my boys are.

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Twenty minutes later I'm happily munching on my usual double order of breakfast while Ruby is rubbing her arm.

"What happened?" I ask. Ruby ignores me and dips a bacon strip in honey. I can't say anything about someone's food choices, but even I think Ruby has weird taste. Then again, Ruby now _has_ taste, so I guess that's even weirder. Right after I first sensed Ruby around, she's been _devolving,_ I guess, which in her case means getting more human. She now has all six senses, as opposed to the usual demonic two of sight and hearing, the sixth being the ability to sense all supernatural entities in the near vicinity.

"It won't go away." Ruby suddenly pouts and I bite my lip to keep from smiling. Humanity and Ruby don't get along. I shrug and want to say something, but she cuts me off.

"You know, when I got out of hell all I wanted was to get some dinner and some sex, but I couldn't taste the food and I couldn't feel anything happening to the body I had borrowed. And now I can, and I hate it." She paused. "Guess I really suck at being human." I take a deep breath, normally when I encounter a demon I connect to the person who belongs to the body, but in this case I actually feel Ruby. And she gets more confused every time I see her.

"That's the most human thing to want." I tell her. "And it's not weird that after nearly two thousand years of not feeling, you're not appreciating all sensations that come with living." Ruby doesn't respond and jabs at her eggs.

"I think it's Sam's fault." She tells me. "The first time I ate French fries it was to hassle Sam, but they actually tasted good! And when we had sex, I was only doing it to keep him from doing something stupid, but it was, well, you know." Ruby looks down at her plate and stabs some more eggs.

"But food and sex are still good things, right?" I think she's actually blushing and I patiently wait until she's going to continue.

"Yes, but.. Well.. It it's too good!" I can't help but raise an eyebrow, there is no such thing as too good food or too good sex. "It makes me go out of my mind! I can't think, or sense and if we would be attacked I wouldn't notice! If Sam asked me to raise the goddess Yeska I would agree just make sure he wouldn't stop!" Ruby sounds bitter. I bite my lip, somehow it's rather amusing that Ruby, all rudeness and tough has a problem with good sex.

"And." Ruby continues. "Now I want to eat all the time! Do you know how much it costs to eat every day?!" I look at her, I eat about three times what normal people eat.

"Sweetie, nice sex, isn't sex at all. Sex is supposed to be that way, mind-blowing and all. Trust me, would it happen that you were attacked, you _will_ notice and take my word for it that no man, and certainly not Sam wants anything to do with Yeska, especially during sex. And the food thing? It's called taking care of yourself. You bleed, you need time to heel and you need to sleep now, you _need_ food also." Ruby defiantly doesn't look at me and pours maple syrup over her roasted peppers. Then, out of the blue, she asks me.

"Have you ever begged?" I feel heat creep up my cheeks. Ah, the root of the problem, Ruby hates being weak in anyway, whether it's the cut on her arm bleeding or getting caught up in sex.

"Uh, yeah, occasionally." I tell her, okay maybe more than occasionally, Dean knows what he's doing, but hey, she doesn't have to know that. Ruby already thinks I maybe nice, but about as useful as a puppy when it comes to strength.

Suddenly Ruby gets up and I feel it too, Sam and Dean are coming this way. Ruby grabs the remains of her breakfast and dumps it on the table next to us, grabs her stuff and starts to leave. I grab her arm.

"Look, just eat three or four times a day, eat fruits and veggies, change that bandage and make _Sam_ beg for a change." I tell her, she rolls her eyes, but smiles anyway.

"Yes mother." And suddenly Ruby's gone, guess that trick didn't go down the same road as invulnerability.

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Almost three days later I'm almost pulling out my hair. Have you ever been so nervous that you just had to giggle or some such? The nerves just racking through you stomach and throat? My hands and back are covered in cold sweat and I have to consciously stop myself from shaking. The tension is so high, not just between Sam and Dean, but also between me and Dean and even between Sam and me. I'm scared to talk, cause everything I say is wrong.

Personally I wish we could just talk about it, but I Know that we're at a point where they would rather gouge out their eyes with a butter knife than to open up, and the worst is, I can't win.

Sam needs help, I don't just Know, other than falling on his knees, he's done just about everything to get my attention. I want to help, I really do, but every time we're alone, before I can even ask "how can I help?" Dean interrupts. If I didn't Know better, I'd say he thinks Sam and I will start an affair. And after every time I tried to talk to Sam and Dean 'caught' us, he gets really mad at me.

So right know Sam feels I'm leaving him out to dry and Dean feel as if I betray him by trying to help Sam. It's all so messed up. Sam's 'powers' for lack of a better word, have been getting more apparent. Visions I suppose Dean could handle, but the whole telekinetic, exorcism thing, not so much. So basically Dean thinks Sam is turning evil and Sam thinks that Dean is likely to stab him in the back at any moment.

Hell, neither is very wrong. Sam's powers are ruling him instead of the other way around and Deans distrust in Sam is scaring me. And somehow I ended up the prize, whoever wins me over, is right.

I haven't seen, or sensed for that matter, Ruby since the breakfast we had. Right now my only friend is a demon who thinks very little of me. It's not unusual, most people see me and think; 'cute' or 'fuzzy', not 'strong', 'smart', 'capable', or even that I'm able to take care of myself. Still, Ruby likes me anyway and she's not trying to win me over, she doesn't hate me and she doesn't expect anything from me.

Also, when Ruby's around Sam focuses his attention on her and leaves me more or less alone, which makes mine and Dean's relationship easier. God! When did I start wanting to be left alone by my big brother an best friend? For that matter, when did I stop wanting to be in the same room as my husband? Before I can end that thought, the door opens and slams shut, Dean, and I cringe.

I actually cringe. I almost laugh at myself, my stomach knots with fear, you don't have to be a psychic to know he's mad, really mad. God, what happened to us?

"I went looking for Sam, aks what he knew about the murders going on around here." Dean starts. I close my eyes and my mind, I don't want to Know.

"He's not here." He tells me, pseudo-casual. "Guess he's out with his demonic bitch." He still sounds casual and I can barely breath, I don't respond. Silence.

"You knew!" while it lasts. "Goddamn it, you knew!" He shouts, full of anger. Don't I always Know?

"For Fuck's sake Adam, how the hell could you keep this from me!? Huh?! What do you think you're doing?! You gonna _encourage _Sam?!" I can't talk, there's no explanation or excuse, I suppose I was wrong. Dean notices. "Though you were on my side Addy." He says softer now, goading a reaction. I cringe, that's what I promised right? I'll be with you, I'll have your back. Till death do us part. Or possibly just life.

"I don't want you here." He tells me. I'm shocked, I'm the one that leaves. He starts the fights, I end them. I haven't unpacked, I haven't even taken off my jacket since we're here.

"How the hell am I supposed to know you're not on his side now? The dark side." Jesus, low blow, we both know that he's not too comfortable with my supernaturalness. Even Dean seems shocked at his words.

"You need to go." He tells me anyway.

"I know." I do, I can't be here. I'm almost out the door when I stop.

"Dean?" To get his attention.

"What?!" Louder again.

"I need to tell you something. No." I hold up my hand to silence him. "You've talked, you've always talked when we fight, and now you need to listen." I'm scared his anger is too hot, too fresh and that he will ignore me. But he remains silent, defensive posture.

"You're right. I knew. And I suppose I did betray you. I'm not defending myself, I'm not making excuses, but you have to realize, I betrayed Sam too. Whatever your problems are, they're not mine, but you both have made them mine. Nobody talks to me, but you both want something from me, the opposite of the other.

"We've always fought Dean, but I started out as an anger _deflector._ You'd get mad at me, I get mad back, I'd leave, we'd have some great make-up sex and we'd both feel better at world. You learned very fast that I'd always be there, that I'll always love you. You can piss me off, but I'll always come back.

"But you're angry _at me_ now Dean. Everything I do, you're making a personal attack on you. And you're being intentionally mean and cruel back. You're not pissing me off anymore, you're hurting me." Tears are stinging now. "I love Sam, I love you and this is killing me. This is not my fault. I didn't do this! And you both expecting me to fix it. I can't be on anyone's side! I. Can't. Pick. Sides. I can't make this better and I'm sorry." I have to stop now, I'll break down. "I'm sorry, I am so sorry." I walk out, but pause again. "I'm not coming back." Oh God, what have I done?

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Review!!!


	6. The Evil Within

Parings: Sam/Ruby, Dean/Adam

Rating: PG

Background: It's been over six years. Adam and Dean have been married for about four, Ruby and Sam are living together, more or less, and have a daughter, Mary Evelyn. Adam is pregnant. Sam and Dean just came back from a salt and burn, leaving their respective partners in the motel. 

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"See ya tomorrow okay?" Dean tells me.

"Uh yeah, sure." Dean seems to want to say something but thankfully doesn't and enters his room, undoubtedly being waited upon by Addy. I suppress the urge to bang my head against the door, of fuck this, 'm taking a walk. It's somewhere between a Tuesday and a Wednesday, it's dark, sleeting and I'm choosing to walk in minus weather over crawling in bed next to Ruby. WTF?!

I'm okay, sure I'm covered with bruises and a particular nasty cut on my shoulder, but nothing big, I mean really, in the past seven year I've never been without one or the other injury. I don't want this life, I never did. Something else didn't work out, and I have no idea what to do if all evil would vanish tomorrow, but I don't want this life.

Almost two years ago the world _didn't_ end, no thanks to me, seeing as _I_ nearly raised Lucifer in an attempt to get Dean and Ruby out of hell, who coincidently really weren't down there after all. Anyway, after that, when the smoke cleared and I looked around noting that everyone that should be alive seemed to be just that. I was sure the angels were gonna kill me. I was sure the angels who had survived also (shame really) were gonna kill me for nearly raising the devil, Ruby for being a demon and that they would send Dean back to the Pit because of a job (well) done. Apparently I wasn't the only one.

"_No!" The voice that sounded deep and penetrating was unfamiliar, until I noticed it was Addy. She looked thin, pale, dirty and bloody, but her posture was defiant and her deep, dark, all-knowing eyes were angry. _

"_This is over!" Involuntarily I took a step back, so did Ruby, I have never seen Addy like this. "We're done. Over. You-" she meant the angels "-are going to walk away and be happy that the world didn't end and we're gonna do the same. Whatever happens, will happen and I am never going to see you again. This whole saga is done, it ends right here, right now." Castiello narrowed his eyes, shared a look with his winged fellows and seemed to ponder this for an uncomfortably long time. Then, to all of our astonishment he nodded almost imperceptibly and indeed walked away._

So when the world didn't end, things simmered down, I supposed you could say that we had a vacation of some sorts, but hunting crept back into our lives. A ghost here, a mysterious death there, Ruby's pregnancy…. yeah, Ruby's pregnancy. Ruby, who's been dead for centuries, permanently inhabiting a body of an also dead woman, got pregnant, with my child. At least I'm sure of that. And off course that didn't just shock _me_ to the core, it also solicited some unwanted attention of a number of the supernatural evil.

But after Evy was born, it simmered down once more. Evy, O Jesus, Evy. Ever since she was put into my arms by an absolutely exhausted looking Adam, and looked at me with very big blue eyes, I loved her. I absolutely, enormously, scarily loved her. She just turned two and she looks, quite ironically, like an angel. Blonde hair, big green eyes that are more like Dean's than either mine or Ruby's, and very cute.

But damn it, how do you say this about my own daughter? Well quite simply, she's a demon. Three days ago Evy got mad. Mad like toddlers do. Adam said that's the way it is. When kids are that young they are either, absolutely happy, painfully sad or red-hot angry, and Evy really was. Her eyes turned black, solidly and a glass of water on a nightstand shattered. It bothers me, a lot.

Adam just 'hey!-ed' in her angry voice as if nothing weird had happened and sent Evy to the bathroom. Evy spent fifteen minutes moping in there, before coming out and happily continuing her colouring. Ruby hasn't mentioned it, but has noticed that it bothers me and is keeping her distance and shooting me angry looks. Dean, astoundingly replied with a _"Dude, Ruby's a demon, or a half demon or whatever percentage of demon she is and you're infected with demon blood also, your kid inheriting some of that is a given!" _Addy told me I shouldn't worry.

But I do, and it does bother me. What if she's evil? What if the angels come for her? Can she be used for evil? What can she do? I know I shouldn't think that, my own daughter, but I can't help it. I nearly ended the world myself. Questions and awful scenarios keep popping up in my head and I hate myself for it. Evy's my daughter, she's innocent and I love her. But I can't stop thinking about it.

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Back at the room I pause at the door, but enter anyway. Evy is asleep on the one bed and Ruby on the other, I enter the bathroom, undress and climb in the bed next to Ruby. Baffled I notice her turning away. Ruby is a snuggler, if not me it's Evy or just a pillow. Fuck! She's really mad. Why can't she understand that it bothers me? Why doesn't it bother her? Contemplating these things I fall asleep.

When I wake up I stare directly in the green eyes of my daughter.

"Daddy!" She squeals and throws her arms around my neck, after a second of hesitation I hug her back, she's fine. She has to be fine.

"Hurt." Evy states and softly pats my shoulder with a chubby hand. I clear my throat.

"No, 's not bad." I lie.

"Kiss an better!" She exclaims with a big smile on her face and proceeds to do just that, placing soft kisses along my shoulder. I smile, until I move my shoulder. My jaw drops and I move my hand under my shirt, feeling the cut that is suddenly almost healed. I stare at my daughter.

"Kiss an better." She tells me, nodding seriously, before climbing over me and lowering herself off the bed and happily exclaiming: "Pancakes!" She waddles to her bed to retrieve Mrs. X, her stuffed brown rabbit. I look at Ruby who is now watching me, I have no idea what to say. Ruby leans down and kisses my shoulder and neck before whispering: "She's special."

"Yeah." What do you say to that? "I love you." I tell Ruby and as usual a small frown appears, as if she tries to figure out what I'm really trying to say, or as if wondering how the hell it applies to the situation.

"I love you too." The frown's still there, the latter apparently. She kissed me again before getting out of bed and taking Evy by the hand to walk next door where Adam in most likely making pancakes.

I never wanted this life, it sucks, it's not easy. But, looking at Ruby and Evy, I think I'll keep it. Hell, try and take it from me!

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Review!!!


	7. Only God loves everyone

Somewhere on the coast of a river, in the dead of night, someone is sitting on a rock, toying with something. Leaning against the rock, Ruby plays with the chain, the white beads are reflecting the little light that comes form the stars more than they should. It seems to be giving off light itself. She shivers, it's only March and not very warm. She keeps forgetting that the way she is now, she needs to think about things like that, warm, cold, food, sleep, all those sensations she needs to consider. But it's not cold enough to get her to move.

She turns the rosary in her hands, the marble and ebony beads and the crucifix pleasantly warm against her skin. No burning, no peeling flesh, no pain, just a gift that she probably should've tossed the second she laid eyes on it.

"You really think so?" A voice suddenly piped. In a flash Ruby was up, tense and knife in hand, it was Anna.

"Fuck don't do that." Ruby told the angel and put away the knife. And, after a long silence.

"I don't know, life used to be, simpler, I guess." Ruby finally admitted. Anna smiled gently. Silence reigned again.

"They don't know?" Anna asked.

"What? That I, demon, once possessed by an angel, now partially human again, first convinced Sam to raise the devil, got killed by both Sam and Dean, then summoned unconsciously and spoke with God who resurrected me, whose host coincidentally happened to be Dean's wife, after which the guy destined to stop the apocalypse didn't kill me again, I then joined with an angel and the soul that actually belongs in God's host to take bloody revenge on the evil angel? No, they don't." Ruby finished angrily.

"Don't be so angry." Anna told her.

"What else is there? Pain, indignation, worry, fear? Anger works for me." Anna didn't respond.

"Do you think it was revenge?" Anna then asked and the images of the battle against Zachariah and Barachiel flashed through her mind, in a weird second-hand sort of way, having shared her body at that time with Anna and Adam.

"It was for me." Ruby added savagely. She could see it worried and pained the angel, but she didn't have the skill to make people feel better.

"If the death of my brothers doesn't bother you, why are you sitting here in the cold?" There was an edge to Anna's voice. Silence reigned again for quite some time. But Ruby needed to tell someone, and it couldn't be Adam. It could never be Adam, she didn't know anything about God using her body, somehow she didn't even know about Ruby being used to make Sam 'fulfil his destiny'. The first no one could tell Adam and the second, well, somehow Ruby needed Adam to believe in her.

"How much of it was me? How easy was I? You said possessed, but that's not what you mean. Zachariah somehow influenced me. It was me! I did those things and I can't figure out how much of me wanted it like that. Am I, was I." Ruby sighed. "Am I better? Healed? All alone in here? Is.. is what I feel right now real?" Now that she started she couldn't stop, wasn't that embarrassing? "I nearly made Sam end the world. Sam! I.. care for Sam, but I resent him so much for doing this to me! I – I, these feelings!" Before Anna could respond, Ruby continued.

"You know, a couple of hours ago, me and Dean ended up with this evil demon-wizard or whatever. He offered to turn me a demon, for real this time, no feelings. If I handed over Dean and by extend Sam, I would never feel pain again." She took a deep breath. "To not care, to not worry all the goddamn time, to finally have some peace. It's been over two millennia…." She needed to take a breath. Anna cautiously took her hand, a gesture only Adam had ever done for her.

"But you didn't take it. Zachariah is dead, he has no influence over you anymore, no one does. I can't tell you what was you and what wasn't, but everything you are right now is just you. A you that didn't take the easy way out, you didn't take the deal." Anna finished, it didn't make her feel much better.

"I wanted to take it. If I handed them over, it would only hurt for a while and then it'd all finally be over. I couldn't. How likely is it that some third-rate idiot can do what no one else could? What ages in hell didn't accomplish? Then I'd be stuck with that hurt forever." She sighed, a broken gasp.

"I couldn't." She then admitted. "It wasn't the logical explanation, it just hurt too much." She hated it, it showed her she was never going to be without pain, she was going to be hurting, worrying and doubting forever. Some part of her wished to be fully demon so badly, to just not give a fuck.

"That's a good thing." Anna told her and Ruby could barely suppress a snort. "You're a good person. Go home Ruby, get warm, cherish the good things you have." Anna paused and Ruby got up to do just that. "God loves you." Anna added. This time Ruby did snort.

"God loves every damn one." But there was no malice in the statement and maybe it did make her feel better.

Once in the shower the slightly nausea feeling in her stomach was still present. She got in the house, Adam's mansion really, just after three. After being happily greeted by two huge and hairy dogs, whom she fed half an apple each before they'd leave her to get up the stairs and tripping over a cat, she actually felt better. In some weird way Adam's huge, rickety mansion with it's many occupants, both animal and human, it's mismatched furniture and the ghost housekeeper, made her feel at home she guessed. She couldn't remember ever having a home, but the room she shared with Sam in this house, felt pretty damn much like it.

Still, the demon-wizard with his deal had rattled her and all she wanted was to go to sleep and wake up all better. That wouldn't happen, but one could hope. The water was just a tad too hot and the shampoo suds stung the tiny cuts that littered her arms, insane how much those tiny cuts could hurt. Still she kept her eyes tightly shut and her head under the spray, which explained her near heart attack.

"Fuck Sam!" Here he was, the biggest problem in life she had ever encountered. Six and a half damn feet of muscled and sleep-fuzzy man, looking her over for injuries. God she hated what he did to her, but she missed him so much when she was away.

"Hey." His voice soft and sweet. "Thought you could use some relaxation." He motioned towards the filled bath, the wine and the snacks. It socked her in the gut, left her stomach queasy and breathless and somehow, brought tears to her eyes. Maybe it was worth it. Maybe all the pain and the worry and the misery of the last two thousand odd years, maybe it was worth it. Taking a deep breath and blinking away tears furiously, she touched his face, stubble present.

"Join me?" Gotta love big bathtubs. Sam's looking confused, but strips anyway. Once in the tub two big hands go around her, one on her stomach and on covering a breast. Instantly the nausea and queasiness is gone. Still, she needs a glass of wine and a healthy dose of fatalism before speaking.

"I think I love you." The hands stop, but there is no noticeable tensing or speech. With her body tight as a wire she defiantly stared at the tiles on the wall. The hand on her stomach flexed before hot breath near her ear told her:

"I love you too." She turned so rapidly that water sloshed over the tub. Incredulously she stared at his face. He was serious. He was really serious. Laughter seemed to bubble up inside her, as was some inexplicable joy. She suppressed both.

"You're nuts!" She tells him. "I'm this messed up half-_demon_!" This time he smiles, kisses her quickly and softly.

"I'm the anti-Christ Ruby, everybody's got issues." This time she does laugh and settles back, she wiggles some to get comfy and to tease, yep, good thing she didn't take the deal.

"Oh God!" The breathy moan coming from Ruby gives me a forceful shiver all the way down my back. "Sam!" Her fingers flexed on my shoulders, hard. Sex with Ruby is always an unique adventure. I nip her clit.

"Aah!" Ruby's body arches and tenses, she curses in French. I chuckle, the vibrations making her moan. I use a hand with considerable strength to still her hips and patiently continue my ministrations. Her moans rise in volume and her words are unrecognisable, a sign that she is nearing orgasm. Ruby tends to do her very best to keep quiet or at least speak English, but the better it gets for her, the less that works. I suck her against my teeth.

"Sam!" She yells loudly and she arches, spasms and goes tight as a wire, before, after a minute or so, she relaxes. I take my time kissing my way up her body, where she engages me in a deep kiss. When I pull back she looks at me with full on onyx eyes and I get even harder, so hot even that I have to bite her neck to keep myself from coming already. Ruby just laughs deep and throaty and moves 'innocently' to urge me on. She can be such a greedy little thing when I get her to let go.

I lick the bruise that is forming on her neck, trying to get some semblance of control, before rolling us over. Ruby smirks at me before giving me a small bite, I groan. We kiss and out of nowhere she manages to get me inside her.

"Holy- !" I groan. Jesus, she's so hot! She roams her hands all over my upper body, while kissing me deeply, but she's not moving!

"Damn Ruby!" I manage to ground out. "Will you just." She silences me with a kiss that nearly makes me come, again. She's already managed to tease an orgasm out of me.

"Just a minute." She tells me, looking at me with solid black eyes. Eyes that convey just as much, if not more, emotion to me as 'regular' eyes do. Now they're a heady mixture of pleasure, desire and mischief.

"Ruby!" I whine and grab her hips to get her to damn well move! She slaps them away, and plays some with my nipples, I have to fist my hands in the sheets and close my eyes. Ruby stills completely.

"Look at me." She demands, and I'd be crazy not to, I could look at her all day. When I open up my eyes, she raises herself slowly.

"My God! You're so beautiful." She smiles, shakes her hair back and squeezes her inner muscles.

"Aargh!" Vaguely I hear her moan as well. This time I get to lift her up, but before I can even think of setting a rhythm, she arches backwards and I see a glint of silver out of the corner of my eye. I sit up and suck her pierced nipple. I've never been one for tattoo's and piercings and according to Ruby it just 'came with the body', but this thing turns me on like crazy, every time.

"Sam!" She pulls me closer and finally starts to move. I groan and I'm so hard it's painful. God she's so amazing. I slide a hand between our bodies and play with her clit.

"Sacre-" She starts, and finishes with a long moan. I manage to keep the rhythm steady, switch nipples and play with her clit. As her movements and words get increasingly erratic, I picture torn off limbs and the smell of open graves, before biting down on the piercing and giving her clit a firm flick. She comes with a shriek, and praying I don't follow her, I watch her climax on my lap intently. I swear, there is nothing more amazing that watching her orgasm.

I don't give her time to really come down and I roll us over one more time.

"Can't" She tells me.

"Too bad."

"'s gonna kill me." I just laugh strangled, and finally give way to mindless lust. I thrust inside her deep, hard and fast. I barely register her meeting my thrusts. I'm talking, but have no idea what I'm saying and thank God for Ruby being part demon, cause this pace probably would kill a normal girl. She clamps down on me again and I finally let go.


End file.
